I can't believe how much I miss traveling. Just going, and being somewhere else. I'm discovering it's really a part of me, in my blood and in my bones. I can't get rid of it. I think I pretended for just a little bit, pretended like I could be happy with staying in one place. I thought that once we had Ember that maybe my heart would quiet down a bit, be still and satisfied with staying. I was wrong. It's almost like I yearn for it more, whether it's just increasing and growing in me every day or because of Ember's existence and my desire to show her the world. But it's there and more ready than ever to jump. I can almost not talk about it without my eye glassing up. The challenges seem insurmountable at times, the hurdles unconquerable. Depressingly out of our grasp. My husband assures me that it may be "out of our grasp, but it's still within reach." I hope that's true. A bit of a melancholic post today. And my first instinct is to apologize if I sound dismal or "down", but it just won't do to be superficial or artificially happy. So today, you get the emo kid in me coming out. It's melancholic, but it's real. Listening To...The Wolves And The Ravens
by Rogue Valley In the morning by the sea As the fog clears from the sand I have no money in my hand I have no home, I have no land But it doesn't trouble me As I lay beside the fire I am easy to inspire There is little I require I wasn't yours and you weren't mine Though I've wished from time to time We had found a common ground Your voice was such a welcome sound How the emptiness would fill With the waves and with your song People find where they belong Or keep on Through the never-ending maze Where the way is seldom clear There is no map or compass near I drive a ship I cannot steer Through the bleak and early morn Where a stronger will is sworn Where the moments move so slow And seem to never let you go When my hands are old and ache And my memory flickers dim And my bones don't hold my skin There's no place I haven't been I recall the days were few That is all that I can do Feel the carvings in the tree That gives shade for you and me
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