I can't believe how much I miss traveling. Just going, and being somewhere else. I'm discovering it's really a part of me, in my blood and in my bones. I can't get rid of it. I think I pretended for just a little bit, pretended like I could be happy with staying in one place. I thought that once we had Ember that maybe my heart would quiet down a bit, be still and satisfied with staying. I was wrong. It's almost like I yearn for it more, whether it's just increasing and growing in me every day or because of Ember's existence and my desire to show her the world. But it's there and more ready than ever to jump.
I can almost not talk about it without my eye glassing up. The challenges seem insurmountable at times, the hurdles unconquerable. Depressingly out of our grasp. My husband assures me that it may be "out of our grasp, but it's still within reach." I hope that's true.
A bit of a melancholic post today. And my first instinct is to apologize if I sound dismal or "down", but it just won't do to be superficial or artificially happy. So today, you get the emo kid in me coming out. It's melancholic, but it's real.
The Wolves And The Ravens
by Rogue Valley
In the morning by the sea
As the fog clears from the sand
I have no money in my hand
I have no home, I have no land
But it doesn't trouble me
As I lay beside the fire
I am easy to inspire
There is little I require
I wasn't yours and you weren't mine
Though I've wished from time to time
We had found a common ground
Your voice was such a welcome sound
How the emptiness would fill
With the waves and with your song
People find where they belong
Or keep on
Through the never-ending maze
Where the way is seldom clear
There is no map or compass near
I drive a ship I cannot steer
Through the bleak and early morn
Where a stronger will is sworn
Where the moments move so slow
And seem to never let you go
When my hands are old and ache
And my memory flickers dim
And my bones don't hold my skin
There's no place I haven't been
I recall the days were few
That is all that I can do
Feel the carvings in the tree
That gives shade for you and me
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